He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
