it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
