apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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