You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Damn victory sex feels great
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
