Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
