You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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