What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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