we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
