Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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