Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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