As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
