Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
