For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
