But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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