What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone says I win the strip club
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
