Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
