he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
