I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
