we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
