you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
