Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
