That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
