FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
