I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
