when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
