oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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