I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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