yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
