She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
