Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
