don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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