He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
