so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
