so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
