i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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