You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
