he puts the penis in happiness.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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