As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
