So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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