he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
