Sry I called you an 8
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
