So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
