he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
