eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
