yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
