I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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