OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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