she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
