My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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