Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
