is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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