I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
