remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
