There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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