I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
