his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
