I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
